The most surprising thing to me out of Apple’s press conference earlier today is that Steve Jobs apparently died.  Did y’all hear anything about this?  I don’t remember mainstream media covering it at all.

You ever do that thing where you’re vacuuming and you come across something that your vacuum won’t pick up, so you pick it up, give it the once-over, then put it back down and try to vacuum it again to no avail, all the while sobbing because your non-functioning penis leaves you unable to keep a woman, forcing you into a lifetime of doing a woman’s work?

That shit sucks.